Golden Globes: Every Joke Tina and Amy Made + BONUS GIFS

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the Golden Globes for the second year in a row. Here is everything funny that happened. Literally every single joke. (Lots of it from the monologue.)

They opened the show in Typical Tina/ Amy fashion

Amy thanked everyone in the crowd for being there
They welcomed “Tam Honks”
One man stood above all others in Amy’s “International Ranking”

They welcomed Matt Damon

And Meryl Streep, who proved

They revealed the original title for American Hustle

Amy Poehler was in the audience, and up for an award. She looked great for a 42-year old.

 They welcomed and scoffed at Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who decided to sit in the “film section”

They taught us what the movie Gravity was really about

And Sandra Bullock appreciated the joke

They welcomed Barkhad Abdi, who was working as a limo driver before appearing in Captain Phillips

And taught the ladies in the audience an important lesson

They then explained the movie Her which

Who chuckled at the joke

Matthew McConaughey lost 45 pounds for Dallas Buyers Club, Or

The Wolf Of Wall Street was a little too graphic for Amy…

Jonah’s response…

The Wolf of Wall Street wasn’t the only movie to use prosthetic genitals. They also used them in Blue is the Warmest Color, and surprisingly, Saving Mr. Banks. Tom Hanks had one

12 Years a Slave had a big impact on Amy Poehler

A word of caution to Netflix – riding pretty high right now

And just whose baby is Kerry Washington carrying?

Masters of Sex…

Tina explained The Blacklist

They gave some advice to the crowd as the monologue came to a close

And they hoped to get it all done in 3 hours

Aziz Ansari photobomb

Tina and Amy thanked their hosts from The Hollywood Foreign Press, including Jurgen Wunderfinger from Derfund Magazine,  Lupe Carlos Lupes, from, Sven Kendervomit, from Purple Magazine, Zimit Fayan, editor of Kerplunk! Misua caquimora Bijon Biset Yoshimata from La Ouf, Lukas Villawajocski from the free magazine they give out on Polish busses, Pawee AND

We got this great moment from Aaron Paul

Tina’s illegitimate son Randy showed up, and was not too happy to be there

Although Tina did tell Randy that his father was in the audience

Emma Thomson brought a martini on stage and seemed a little buzzed

On Julie Bowen and Seth Meyers – She puts the Modern in Modern Family and

Oh Really…..

Melissa McCarthy on Melissa McCarthy

And then came the category that Amy was nominated for, Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy

And then she won! And Made out with Bono to celebrate!
Congratulations Amy! Love the Support from her cast:
No Seriously Amy, THANK YOU
Tina’s response to her friend’s win (referencing Taylor Swift)
Tina channels her inner Michael Bay
Then she welcomed Leonardo DiCaprio to the stage
Matthew McConaughey won for Best Actor – Drama, and gave us all what we really wanted
And just like that, it was over – What a fantastic night

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